You're Not An Imposter

I literally didn’t think I deserved a seat at the table. The Harvard Business Review wrote about imposter syndrome as early as 2008 but the idea has been around much longer. One report says the 1970’s is when it was first discussed in therapy sessions, primarily with women. That warrants a whole blog post in itself. The HBR defined it as “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success”. It’s what makes us doubt ourselves and it’s more common than you might think.

In a crowded meeting with an industry analyst there were about 10 seats at the table, almost filled by senior members of the small company I worked for. I shied away and sat at one of the few chairs around the edge of the room with a few others. Even though one of my main responsibilities was analyst relations. The head of products actually waved me over to sit at the table.

Forget that I knew the analyst and had worked with them for more than a year, that I knew the senior team around the table and what we were really trying to accomplish in this meeting. I felt I couldn’t just sit at the table. This was early in my career, but I’ve never forgotten. It took years to develop the confidence that I needed. To offer perspective and opinion that would actually make a difference. That said, I still definitely have my moments of feeling like an imposter, despite building a successful career over almost 20 years.   

Imposter syndrome is real. Just about everyone has suffered from it at some point and it’s not something that just disappears. Research shows that up to 70% of people will experience imposter syndrome at least once in their lives. 

People are every company’s greatest asset. Imagine if 70% of your colleagues, from the top down, are second guessing their value. These feelings influence morale, self-worth and productivity.

The amount of people who have experienced imposter syndrome.

I think it shows up in our personal lives too. When our first kid was born, I was sure they wouldn’t just let us leave the hospital with him. I mean, we knew nothing about kids and babies. They were not a part of our lives in any way prior to this moment. I was constantly second guessing every decision, but that’s another story.

Recently in Forbes a writer shared her life experiences as “an example of how you can break through your mindset barriers and limiting belief system to create a life you desire.” That sounds wonderful.

The best way to resolve imposter syndrome is to talk about it. But as people advance in their careers they are less likely to do just that, especially with their peers. It doesn’t align with the image that a leader must hold.

I hope that imposter syndrome continues to be discussed in the open and that it becomes a little more normalized. I mean, if former First Lady Michelle Obama, record shattering athlete Serena Williams, and actor Tom Hanks can open up about it, then I can too. I read a LOT about it over the last month, including this article in Science Magazine, and here are the three main pieces of advice I have. 

·      Allow yourself to feel a little vulnerable.

·      You are not alone in your feelings.

·      Acknowledge those feelings, but don’t let them stop you from your goals and dreams.

We are all unique with our own experiences and perspectives, and that is what is truly valuable. We’re not imposters.